I'M TIRED OF GETTING SCREWED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT MY HUSBAND.

That's right!! I enjoy my husband! And wish that others would stop screwing me over!!!

Here's the deal: I am working on my PhD (doctor of philosophy) in Biomedical Sciences, with an emphasis in Molecular and Cell Biology. (1) through three labs. Thought I found a home in two of them. But. No. (For those of you who do not speak "science"--in order to complete my PhD I have to do extensive laboratory research with a professor/mentor.) Neither was meant to be.

I work for "Dr. Kevorkian" first(2). I learned an incredible amount from that experience. This professor taught me how to manage my time and how to be passionate about research. BUT!! Because I truly (as he/she/it stated it) was not "truly committed" to WSU's PhD BMS program, I could not be as productive in that lab as I truly should have been.

The next lab through which I rotated(3) was one in which I was not remotely interested, and therefore did not exert much effort. Sadly this rotation was in the CHAIR OF THE DEPARTMENT'S LAB(4).

I was referred to a TENURED(5) professor, in who's lab I thought I had found a home. Clearly. Not. After almost a year of back-breaking work, and a few figures shy of a publication(6), I "had improved greatly(7), but still had some shortcomings." Not to mention the lack of money. Being the optimist, instead of despairing over the fact that I am now in my second year of a PhD program and now find myself without a mentor, I decide to go to Macy's and buy myself a pair of patent leather hot pink, peek-toe BCBG stilletos. Fabulous.

SO!! After a weekend of shopping, new shoes (I have a total of FIVE NEW PAIRS), wine, talking with friends, and sleep, I now find myself tired of (8) getting screwed.

At some point this evening(9) I began to think that maybe the problem really is me. Maybe I don't really have "it"(10). Maybe there is something wrong with me(11). Maybe I just don't have it IN me to work THAT hard. ???? Maybe I should just relegate myself to teaching at a community college. That IS teaching(12), and maybe that would be fulfilling...(13). But, I KNOW I was meant for more. MORE. I HAVE HOPE THAT THIS IS NOT IT!!!

And then I saw this, courtesy of Facebook:I AM a Manolo. I am sleek. I am sophisticated. I am classic. I "deserve" to wear these shoes.

As I am planning for my beautiful shoe-filled future, I decide to look at potential jobs, and ran across this one:


Then, suddenly, I had HOPE!!!

I CAN walk into a classroom where I, SISSA STONE, am THE professor. I will mentor MY OWN graduate students. I WILL teach undergraduates to love the science that enraptured me early in my career. I WILL HAVE A CAREER!!!

Newly motivated, I struck a deal with Matt. I graduate with a PhD = I get to pick a pair of Manolos. And HE pays for them. Yessssssssssssssssss.

After shaking hands, I IMMEDIATELY went online to see how much they cost.

Annnnnddddddddddddd. $715 later........... Yeah. I want shoes that cost as much as our monthly mortgage payment. Sad? Yes. But motivating? DEFINTELY!!! Can you see the beautiful satin and jewels? My husdand's first question(14) was if the jewels were in fact diamonds. Which in his mind is the ONLY WAY IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT SHOES--FREAKING SHOES--COULD COST OVER TWENTY DOLLARS.

Never in our six years together have I EVER claimed to be "cheap" or "inexpensive."

Despite the fact that those shoes are GORGEOUS, I find it slightly sad that I need more motivation than an academic degree to work hard(15) for the next two-three years.

Hmmm... Maybe I am more like Obama's supporters than I thought...

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!


************FOOTNOTES************

(1)A student "rotates" through labs similar to the way in which one "tastes" wines. The proper technique is to #1: Remain aloof to a particular wine. #2: Sniff and swirl the flavors together, noting what rises from the bottom. #3: Taste (do not gulp, swig, or chug)... taste, sample, test. Taste, test, sample. Repeat. #4: Make an "up" or "down" decision on the initial taste, the taste in your mouth, and the after-taste of that particular wine. #5: Recall tastes of all different wines before committing. #6: Commit.

(2)Not really Dr. Kevorkian... because.. EWW!!! GROSS! But my friends could never pronounce the professor's name, so he/she/it became known as "Dr. Kevorkian." And also because that's when my heart died!!

(3)How Sissa "Rotates" (i.e. tastes wine): #1: Look at label. #2: Become enthralled by fancy colors and promises of good taste. #3: Fall in love. #4: Tell WineMaker that you are in love and want to buy cases of THIS wine for the next 500 years. #5: Learn a little bit more about wine-making process. #6: Don't like/agree with a particular portion of the wine-making process. #4: Bottle it up. (HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! No pun intended!!!!) #5: Realize that wine-making problem affects the taste of the 500 cases of wine have purchased. #6: Start to rethink decision, but have already made such a committment that feel like an idiot. #7: Starts trying to implement new wine-making techniques as has experience and wants to be successful. #8: Wine-maker who has MORE experience accepts, but does not like new ideas. #9: Wine-maker decides not to like Sissa. #10: Wine-maker and Sissa realize the problem. #11: Sissa tried to ignor problem because that's what good people do, right? #12: Wine-maker drops Sissa. #13: Sissa is left without wine. #14: Sissa is sad.

(4) I suck.

(5) Can't be fired.

(6) If only someone would believe my data!!!

(7) I didn't take any breaks, vacations, nor did I get sick enough to land me in the hospital.

(8) Given the opportunity, I could sleep for DAYS!

(9) While I was watching the "When was the last time you took your daughter to the aquarium... on a Tuesday" VISA commercial... which is actually quite psychadelic after a few glasses of wine.

(10) If you ever figure out what this is, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, let me know!! Because, apparently, I NEED it.

(11) Hahaha. I make that joke too. I know. I know. JUST LIKE YOU, I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with ME!!!!!!

(12) I LOVE TEACHING!!!!!!

(13) Despite the fact that it is HIGHLY unlikely.

(14) After asking if he can "get out" of this "deal."

(15) Working Hard = 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week.

The Latest Bee in My Bonnet

I was just alerted to this article by one of my sweet friends, and... WOW!!

Here's the article:

There's a popular medical thriller novel in which a global pandemic is intentionally set off by an evil plot designed to reduce the human population. In the book, a nefarious drug company inserts live avian flu viruses into vaccine materials that are distributed to countries around the world to be injected into patients as "flu shots." Those patients then become carriers for these highly-virulent strains of avian flu which go on to infect the world population and cause widespread death.

There's only one problem with this story: It's not fiction. Or, at least, the part about live avian flu viruses being inserted into vaccine materials isn't fiction. It's happening right now.

Deerfield, Illinois-based pharmaceutical company Baxter International Inc. has just been caught shipping live avian flu viruses mixed with vaccine material to medical distributors in 18 countries. The "mistake" (if you can call it that, see below...) was discovered by the National Microbiology Laboratory in Canada. The World Health Organization was alerted and panic spread throughout the vaccine community as health experts asked the obvious question: How could this have happened?

As published on LifeGen.de (http://www.lifegen.de/newsip/showne...), serious questions like this are being raised:

"Baxter International Inc. in Austria 'unintentionally contaminated samples with the bird flu virus that were used in laboratories in 3 neighbouring countries, raising concern about the potential spread of the deadly disease'. Austria, Germany, Slowenia and the Czech Republic - these are the countries in which labs were hit with dangerous viruses. Not by bioterrorist commandos, but by Baxter. In other words: One of the major global pharmaceutical players seems to have lost control over a virus which is considered by many virologists to be one of the components leading some day to a new pandemic."

Or, put another way, Baxter is acting a whole lot like a biological terrorism organization these days, sending deadly viral samples around the world. If you mail an envelope full of anthrax to your Senator, you get arrested as a terrorist. So why is Baxter -- which mailed samples of a far more deadly viral strain to labs around the world -- getting away with saying, essentially, "Oops?"

But there's a bigger question in all this: How could this company have accidentally mixed LIVE avian flu viruses (both H5N1 and H3N2, the human form) in this vaccine material?

Holy Stinkin' Cow! Can you believe it?!!?! WHy have we not heard more about this? Why is this not all over the news?

And WOW is this scary.

Info on the Flu vaccine: it is a killed version (i.e. submitted to heat until assumed dead) of the live virus. Killed virus vaccines allow a much broader range of immunity, which is why on a yearly basis the CDC and the WHO, after vast amounts of research, hypothesize (read: they take an educated guess!!!) which strains are the most virulent (disease-causing) and have the potential for emerging that year. Once the strains are determined, various commercial labs then amplify that virus, heat-shock it, add an adjuvant (something in which to solubilize the virus that will allow your body an environment to potentiate a high level of immunity to those strains. The hope here being that if you get the vaccine, your body should, in theory, be able to fight of the real infection if challenged with it. With all that said, it is not beyond possibility for some of the virus to not have been killed in the process of vaccine preparation. The real problem here is the fact that Baxter quality controls DID NOT STINKING CATCH THE PROBLEM BEFORE SHIPPING IT OUT TO A NUMBER OF COUNTRIES!!!!! Truly Baxter should get WAY more than a "slap on the hand." A "mistake" of this magnitude warrants a HUGE investigation by the WHO, the CDC, and the Austrian government. Whether or not this was a purposeful contamination, only an investigation will allow us insight into the answer.

The other thing that really ticks me off about this, beyond the problem of spreading the actual virus, is the questions fear that this will strike in the minds and hearts of those already skeptical of vaccines. Anybody remember smallpox? Polio? Measles? Mumps? Rubella? Whopping Cough? Diphtheria? How about a more common disease... Hepatitis A, B, C... or now even D? Yeah. Most of us have forgotten how truly heinous are these diseases. Why? Because they have been controlled, or even ERADICATED by vaccines, which is testament to the beauty of medical research. A common misconception is that even without being vaccinated, you are safe from the disease because so many others have been vaccinated in your community. NOT TRUE. Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Polio, the various strains of Hepatitis, and Smallpox are all viral diseases, which means that they are not caused by a living organism but by a small piece of DNA that gets incorporated into your genomic DNA in infected cells, then hijacks to make thousands and millions of copies of the virus before spreading it to other cells in your body. Ever noticed how different you are from the person sitting next to you? My husband has red hair, blue eyes, and is really tall. I have brown hair, brown eyes, and am of average height. One of the reason for these differences recombination within your genome--changes (mutations) to your DNA.

If this happens naturally within the human race and we have billions of nucleotides, in 46 chromosomes, think of how much faster change can occur in a virus which only contains 100-1000 base pairs. So. If one kid gets the measles at a school in your state, and you are not vaccinated, your chances of getting that disease are increased drastically. In the case that you do get the disease, the virus will then use your body to make billions of copies of itself, most likely kill you, and then, God-forbid, could mutate, exposing the whole of the vaccinated community to a newer and "better" version of the virus for which no one is prepared.

The same theory can be applied to Whooping Cough and Diptheria which are bacterial diseases. Anybody ever heard of MRSA--Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus? Or any type of antibiotic resistant infection? We have antibiotic resistant bacteria because the bacterial genomes have mutated to produce different cell wall proteins that are not recognized by the antibiotics, whose route of bacterial killing is typically through the breakdown to the bacterial cell wall allowing the cell contents to become subjected to the body's immune system, which will then clear the infection. If these disease-causing bacteria are allowed to infect and propagate within an individual, the potential is present for the bacteria to mutate to a strain not guarded against by the vaccine, thus subjecting the majority of the population to problems.

And as we consider all of these issues--the flu vaccine contamination, fear of vaccination, etc.--let us keep in mind that the reason we have vaccines to these horrible diseases is because they could not be cured. Vaccines are the way to protect the population from pandemic outbreak of disease.

With that said, go hug your friendly neighborhood scientific researcher! And thank them for contributing to our growing knowledge of disease treatment, prevention, and eradication.

The Motivation Has Spread!

Not only am I motivated to loose the tire around my waist and my size 8's in place of 6's, apparently I am in the market to "lose" stuff too...

I posted this on Craig's List at 11:01am, had a buyer by 11:55am, and closed the deal by 12:30pm. Writing can get you anywhere peeps! So... Stay in school. Love Jesus. Don't do drugs. Save sex.

...And be snarky whenever possible!

Malibu Pilates Machine, DVDs, and Training Guide - $175 (Dayton, OH)

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Reply to: sale-vduwt-1058332136@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-03-03, 11:01AM EST

A sturdy, studio quality piece of equipment, this Pilates machine has only been used once for its designed function, as more often it has served as a door stopper for our back bedroom preventing the door from slamming in a disquieting manner, a laundry basket holder when the couch is covered with laundry on a prime television watching night, or step stool if Hubby has decided to hide the candy stash again. Purchased as a Christmas "present" for me by my husband for the full $400 dollars, his goal was to "help me get healthy" (read: entice me to get off the couch in order to tighten and firm that which has been, and sadly, probably never will be again). Accompanied by motivational DVDs from Malibu "Barbie" and Mari Windsor (Pilates guru to the stars), I found the workout to be fun, relaxing, easy to follow, low-impact, yet apparently challenging as the next day I discovered muscles in my bottom of which I was not aware, quickly realizing and coming to cherish the bliss of my muscular ignorance. I attribute this next-day discovery more to the fact that I am lazy, tending to enjoy chocolate, wine and television more than a really good workout. Please email me questions about this listing if you are interested in tightening your m-ass-ive, or have found that you need help drying your laundry or reaching high places!

• Location: Dayton, OH
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1058332136

TODAY is THE DAY!

Needless to say, after spending the weekend sitting on my keister watching movies, downing a whole box of Wheat Thins (please note they were at least the Reduce Fat kind!), consuming close to two bottles of wine over the course of three days, and eating out for practically every meal I felt bloated, hefty, sluggish, and well... fat.

For the past three weeks I attempted to stick with a running/exercising/eating right routine that would make any nutritionist proud. Please note the key word here... "attempted." That's right I have no self control when it comes to things like chips and salsa, chips and queso, anything from the cooks at Chipotle, Cabernet, cheese and crackers, cheese and apples, Shiraz, string cheese, pasta with cheese on it, cheese with a side of chili, Three Buck Chuck, laughing cow cheese and celery, and well... just about anything with the creamy goodness that is Cheese, or red wine. Now I'm not going to lie here. I could drink one to two glasses of wine a night and be just fine with it. My nutritionist was "glad to hear" that I at least drink red wine, as it is good for your cardiovascular system." To which I promptly replied, "Yep, I may have a healthy heart, but I am still putting the ass in massive."

Stinks doesn't it.

So TODAY. After pitifully huffing and puffing my way through four miles, I got fed up with myself.

HA!

Get it!

Fed UP!!

I'm so punny.

So Matt and I called NutriSystem. And signed up for the flex plan. They're sending us enough meals for 5 days a week so that we have the freedom to not eat at home every night, but to actually go to House Church and eat with the normal people, or to go on a date, or to eat Chipotle.

According to what I understand of the system, for $199 a month, I will receive 15 meals a week for four weeks, for a total of 60 meals delivered to my doorstep. Which if you break it down is $3.32/meal--a little more than I would pay for a meal if I made it myself, but way less than the $8.14 that my burrito bowl at Chipotle costs. And as an incredibly busy graduate student, I am soooo willing to have someone figure out the "good" carbs and protein and fats my body needs, cook me those meals so that I only have to open, heat and eat.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Sissa's Pics

Check out my new shutterfly website.

www.sissaspics.shutterfly.com

You need a password to access it and to order pics, so check your email, or Facebook me, or email me if you want it!

It has all of my wedding pictures uploaded--I FINALLY scanned them all! Yay me!!!

Enjoy!

And let me know if you decide to order some!

Here's to Justin...

That's right.

I thought that it was a little early for "Mustache March."

But... then again... maybe... not! (kudos to those of you who got the Bridget Jones quote.)

But here's to the new fuzz sprouted on my brother's chin and upper lip...

Please enjoy the Top Ten "Very Good Reasons Why You Should Grow a Beard"!

My "New" Computer

I don't know where my Father-in-Law found this *picture* computer, but here it is in all of it's hot pink glory!!

Now I know it's not a MAC, but do you think it will still work?!?

I love the faux fur trim and the Hello Kitty mouse! HA! Putting a KITTY on the MOUSE!!!! No more chasing necessary!!

I crack myself up!!